Courage to Be “Too Much”: Vulnerability & Resilience

Why Being “Too Much” Takes Courage in a World That Shuts Down

If you’ve ever been told you’re too much — too emotional, too sensitive, too intense, too deep — that wasn’t feedback about your failure. It was information about someone else’s limits.

We’re living in a time where many people are emotionally shut down, overstimulated, exhausted, and very attached to staying “reasonable”, “logical”, and in control. Feeling deeply doesn’t fit well into that world. It disrupts it. And disruption often gets labelled as a problem.

But here’s the thing: it takes courage to stay open in a culture that rewards emotional numbness.

Feeling More Doesn’t Mean You’re Creating Problems

You don’t “find” problems and feelings where there are none. You notice what others ignore. You sense undercurrents, tensions, unsaid things. You feel emotional shifts early and try to name them, not to cause drama, but because you’re wired for awareness.

When someone says, “Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”, what they often mean is: I don’t want to go there. And that doesn’t mean you’re wrong — it means you’re braver.

You’re willing to feel discomfort instead of bypassing it. That’s not weakness. That’s emotional courage.

Why Calm, Grounded People Can Trigger You

This part is uncomfortable, but important.

People who can stay calm, reflective, and emotionally regulated — especially in conflict — can hit a nerve. Not because they’re doing something wrong, but because they’re showing you a capacity you didn’t have at some point in your life.

When someone can hold steady during emotional storms that once overwhelmed you, it can bring up grief, shame, or old wounds. Their composure highlights moments when you didn’t feel safe, supported, or capable of staying regulated yourself.

They might also offer feedback that feels sharp or critical — but often, it’s not an attack. It’s an invitation. An opportunity to grow your capacity, not shrink your expression.

Courage Is Moving Through Fear, Not Avoiding It

Resilience isn’t built by staying comfortable. It’s built by staying present when things feel hard.

Every time you allow yourself to feel fear, sadness, anger, or vulnerability without shutting down or lashing out, you strengthen your nervous system. You teach yourself: I can handle this. That’s how resilience forms — slowly, quietly, through repetition.

Many people avoid emotions because they don’t trust themselves to survive them. You’re doing the opposite. You’re staying. You’re feeling. You’re learning. That’s real strength.

Don’t Take Every Label to Heart

When someone tells you that you’re “too emotional” or “too much”, pause before you internalise it.

Ask yourself:

• Is this feedback coming from care or discomfort?

• Is this about my behaviour — or their capacity?

• Would shrinking myself actually lead to more connection, or just less authenticity?

You don’t need to carry every opinion someone has about you. Especially when it’s coming from someone who hasn’t learned how to sit with their own emotions yet.

Why This Matters in Relationships (and in Therapy)

In my work as a therapist, I see this pattern all the time — people who feel deeply learning to either silence themselves or doubt their inner world because it wasn’t mirrored or welcomed earlier in life.

Therapy isn’t about teaching you to feel less. It’s about helping you feel more safely, communicate more clearly, and respond rather than react. It’s about building emotional resilience so your depth becomes a strength instead of a source of pain.

You’re not here to harden. You’re here to refine.
To question, feel, process, and transform — not just for yourself, but for the relationships you care about.

And no, you’re not too much.
You’re just operating on a level that asks others to be honest with themselves — and not everyone is ready for that.

Both couples and individuals can experience a decline in libido levels which can cause decreased desire and arousal during sexual encounters. Our internalised sexual inner system can be affected by various external factors in our life such as stress, poor health, depression, or difficult situations.

You are not alone!

There are plenty of solutions and exercises that you can implement to get your sex drive back. Don’t give up on your sex life, it can give you so much fun, pleasure, and enjoyment!

Exercises presented here work best when paired with sexual therapy online or in-person.

Learn more about how sex therapy works and how it can support your journey toward healing

Ask a sexologist online for guidance and an appointment.

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