Let’s Talk Addiction, Relapse, Lapses & Real Recovery

🧠 What Are Lapses & Relapses Really?

Let’s get this straight: a lapse is a momentary slip — like that one time you had that one drink or checked old habits — but you stopped and kept going with your recovery. A relapse is when that slip turns into a full return to old behaviour patterns. Neither are moral failures — they’re part of the process of recovery, not the opposite of it.

In therapy, I help people understand that a lapse doesn’t erase progress — it actually reveals opportunities to strengthen coping skills. A relapse, while more serious, is still something we explore non-judgmentally to understand triggers so we can prevent future slips.

🎯 The Real Goal: Not Just Stop, But Not Want To Start

Here’s the golden key — we don’t just want to stop addictive behaviour; we want to reach a point where you no longer want to perform it. That’s deep inner work — and that’s what I help clients explore at Love Empowerment Clinic.

That means:

• Processing the feelings driving the behaviour (hello unresolved hurts 😅)

• Healing intentions, not just behaviours

• Addressing trauma, not just symptoms

This is why relapse prevention can’t just be about “not doing the thing” — it must be about feeling whole enough to not want to do it in the first place.

🌀 So What Helps?

⭐ 1. 12-Step Recovery Programs

These are peer-supported frameworks (like Alcoholics Anonymous, Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous, or Sexual Compulsives Anonymous) that don’t just tell you to stop — they give structure, community, and accountability. They’ve been shown to help people maintain long-term recovery goals when paired with other tools.

There are also 12-step variants for different addictions (including sexual and process addictions) that work similarly, just tailored to the behaviour.

🧘‍♀️ 2. Relapse Prevention Therapy

This is about being prepared for triggers and developing coping skills so that a “lapse” doesn’t accidentally snowball into a relapse. Think:

• recognizing warning signs

• interruption strategies

• urge surfing instead of reacting

• emotional regulation tools
  This approach sees relapse as part of the recovery continuum and makes space for learning rather than shame.

💬 3. Processing Feelings & Trauma

Guys, this is the part that really matters. If we only teach coping skills without unpacking the emotional baggage driving behaviour — we’re just putting a band-aid on a leaky dam.

This is where therapy like what I provide at Love Empowerment Clinic makes a real difference — we get underneath why the behaviour satisfies something for you, what feelings you’re avoiding, and how to heal that so the behaviour loses its pull.

🌱 Healing Is Not Linear

Recovering from addiction? Expect ups, downs, curves, plateaus… and all the feels in between. You might have a lapse and still fly forward — it just means you’re human and healing. And if you’re protecting your heart, you’re doing the brave work of long-term change.

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